Rule of the road for motorcyles in Bermuda

TCD regulations in Bermuda for auxiliary bike license.

1. Make sure as little works on you bike as possible i.e. lights, indicators, brakes etc, except horn, this will save on battery drainage and brake costs.
2. When riding your auxiliary cycle, you want to make sure you know the constant distance between you and the ground. The best way to do this is keep your left foot dragging along it.
3. To compensate the weight difference of your lower limbs on the foot pegs, only keep your right hand on the handle bars. You left hand is free to either hold you cigarette, wave to people, or hold your mobile phone (see below).
4. Cell phone use. As we know, everyone in Bermuda is extremely important, and you must be in contact at all times. If your cell phone rings, make sure you answer it. You may have to take one of your earphones out to listen, but we all make sacrifices.
5. No bike seat ever created can accommodate a normal posterior, so you must choose one buttock cheek to be on your seat, and one to hang over the side.
6. When wearing a helmet, make sure you don't do it up, or at least as little as possible. As stated before we are all important, and you must be able to get it off as soon as possible when you get to Casey's. However, if not entering a bar or the bank, keep your helmet on. this will save you from having to "do" your hair, and prevent your helmet from being stolen.
7. Beep at every one. EVERYONE. Then, follow up with the left index finger pointing to the sky ; using any of the phrases "yes" "yes-I" Yes-Yes" "Yes-dun" "Yes-I-Dun" "Woppnin" "Woppnin-Dun" "Yes-I-Woppnin-Dun" "Yes-Poppa" or one of the departments favorites "Yes-I-Woppnin-Dun-Ya-Cool-Poppa-Dun?" Wait for a response then repeat said phrase.
8. Tail lights at night will only confuse people, possibly distract them, so make sure they don't work."
9. Drive as fast as possible. This will encourage other traffic to do the same, and cut down on congestion.
10. To ensure people are aware of your high speeds, make your auxiliary cycle as loud as possible.
11. Never put your feet on the ground, especially at stoplights/signs...this is where centipedes try to jump in you shoes. Instead just meander / wobble like disoriented cattle.
12. Carry infants and children in front of you... they are young and bounce well. Feel free to carry as many people as you want on you cycle - two is only a suggestion.
13. Drive as erratically as possible. This will keep other people's driving skills well honed.
14. Park your cycle wherever you want. Everyone has to park somewhere. the bays are merely suggestions.
15. Drink and drive if you like. This is only your first license, but it is good practice for your motorcycle and car license.
16. Practice everything from wheelies to riding up a wall with your fiends along North shore and Middle Road. The more the merrier.
17. Don't worry about the condition of your cycle, expiration etc. when it comes down to testing it every few years or so. You are going to be related to some one down here, so don-e'en-worry-wif-it.
18. All rules are null and void for ex-pats, as it is unlikely you will fulfill #17.