I hate goodbyes

I said goodbye to my friend Melissa on Friday. She’s leaving for college to study journalism and while I’m thrilled that she’s beginning this new adventure in her life, part of me is screaming “No! Don’t go!”
Since we’ve been in Bermuda – going on almost five years now – Melissa is the first friend I’ve had since we left South Africa in 2000. Ok I did “hang out” with a few other girls, but they were never what I considered true friends. You always had to watch what you said around them and I was always worried about what they would think of me.
But with Melissa you could just be yourself. She showed me that I didn’t have to true so hard, or didn’t have to impress people for them to respect or like me.
She’s someone I shared my experiences with, someone who listened and seemed to understand. She was also a tremendous support in my weight-loss struggle and I will miss her jokes and little chats about nothing in particular.
I must admit I was very sad over the weekend thinking about coming back to work and her not being here anymore and then I realised how selfish that is because she has embarked on a wonderful and exciting adventure and even though she is going to be thousands of miles away – she’s living her life and making something of herself. I would never deny her that and anyone who would – should be shot.
So farewell Melissa and thanks for the wonderful eight months you shared with me.
I forgot how important “girl friends” are and I will miss you, but I wanted to thank you for showing me this. I promise I will find new friends and make an effort to keep them. You are a wonderful person and despite your age – you are very wise.Keep up the work and studies and remember that you will always have a funny South African in Bermuda who will miss you.

The joys of shopping for a new bike

Mark and I spent Saturday morning window shopping for new bikes.

I had my heart set on a Vepsa XL125, but when I found myself standing next to one... well it just didn't look as great as it did online.

After stopping at two stores on the Island, we returned to our trusted Yamaha dealer and found the Yamaha Cygnus 125 cc. Now what's ironic about this bike is that back in 1991 when I left for college, my folks bought me a Yamaha Cygnus 125. It looked very similar to this, but obviously this is the latest version.

Still, we have decided to buy two as soon as we have sold our Yamaha Grand Axis. Our friends think we are nuts and should continue to ride our existing bikes until they fall apart. But at the end of the day, with the amount of money we pump into those bikes to keep them on the road for another 2 - 5 years, it's just not worth it. As it is mine is sluggish and Marks' - well his is just "kapoet".

So hopefully by the end of September the Walters' couple will once again be riding identical bikes - but this time newer, more environmentally friendly four-stroke bikes. I do think we should consider not getting the same colour again - that's just too weird!

Tiger Shark caught off Bermuda

Welcome to Bermuda!
I don't think anyone is going swimming anytime soon - at least not anywhere near Challenger Banks. That's where this 800 pound Tiger Shark was caught by local fishermen.
Challenger Banks is about 15 km from the nearest beach, but still... these fish can reach speeds of up to 20 km/h so there's no telling where they will end up.
By the way, did you know that they are the ultimate garbage disposal system in the ocean - they will literally eat anything that goes overboard, including (some acconts of...) chickens, cattle, horses and yes, humans.


Ok that's it. I am never going in the water again!

Unlike Japan, here in Bermuda the entire shark is used, not just the fin. The fin is used for soup, the meat for "shark hash" which is a supposed to be quite delicious and the liver is used to make local weather-predictors. Apparently if you hang the bottle of shark liver up outside, it's clear on clear days and the liquid turns all cloudy when there is bad weather coming.
I guess that explains a lot about shark behaviour - you never see a "happy" looking shark when there's a storm at sea right?

Rule of the road for motorcyles in Bermuda

TCD regulations in Bermuda for auxiliary bike license.

1. Make sure as little works on you bike as possible i.e. lights, indicators, brakes etc, except horn, this will save on battery drainage and brake costs.
2. When riding your auxiliary cycle, you want to make sure you know the constant distance between you and the ground. The best way to do this is keep your left foot dragging along it.
3. To compensate the weight difference of your lower limbs on the foot pegs, only keep your right hand on the handle bars. You left hand is free to either hold you cigarette, wave to people, or hold your mobile phone (see below).
4. Cell phone use. As we know, everyone in Bermuda is extremely important, and you must be in contact at all times. If your cell phone rings, make sure you answer it. You may have to take one of your earphones out to listen, but we all make sacrifices.
5. No bike seat ever created can accommodate a normal posterior, so you must choose one buttock cheek to be on your seat, and one to hang over the side.
6. When wearing a helmet, make sure you don't do it up, or at least as little as possible. As stated before we are all important, and you must be able to get it off as soon as possible when you get to Casey's. However, if not entering a bar or the bank, keep your helmet on. this will save you from having to "do" your hair, and prevent your helmet from being stolen.
7. Beep at every one. EVERYONE. Then, follow up with the left index finger pointing to the sky ; using any of the phrases "yes" "yes-I" Yes-Yes" "Yes-dun" "Yes-I-Dun" "Woppnin" "Woppnin-Dun" "Yes-I-Woppnin-Dun" "Yes-Poppa" or one of the departments favorites "Yes-I-Woppnin-Dun-Ya-Cool-Poppa-Dun?" Wait for a response then repeat said phrase.
8. Tail lights at night will only confuse people, possibly distract them, so make sure they don't work."
9. Drive as fast as possible. This will encourage other traffic to do the same, and cut down on congestion.
10. To ensure people are aware of your high speeds, make your auxiliary cycle as loud as possible.
11. Never put your feet on the ground, especially at stoplights/signs...this is where centipedes try to jump in you shoes. Instead just meander / wobble like disoriented cattle.
12. Carry infants and children in front of you... they are young and bounce well. Feel free to carry as many people as you want on you cycle - two is only a suggestion.
13. Drive as erratically as possible. This will keep other people's driving skills well honed.
14. Park your cycle wherever you want. Everyone has to park somewhere. the bays are merely suggestions.
15. Drink and drive if you like. This is only your first license, but it is good practice for your motorcycle and car license.
16. Practice everything from wheelies to riding up a wall with your fiends along North shore and Middle Road. The more the merrier.
17. Don't worry about the condition of your cycle, expiration etc. when it comes down to testing it every few years or so. You are going to be related to some one down here, so don-e'en-worry-wif-it.
18. All rules are null and void for ex-pats, as it is unlikely you will fulfill #17.

You will never take our freedom

Everyone is talking about terrorism again after the recent bomb scares in the UK. So because of some one-brain celled ass holes, you are no longer allowed to take proper hand luggage on board your flight.
What does that mean? Well for one thing: no bottled water!
Can you imagine a 36-hour flight without your trusted one litre bottle of H2O? I think I might just skip flying home altogether because the prospect of enduring that length of flight without my trusted bottle of life-saving water – not to mention my hand cream and lip ice (because those damn flights dry your out like jerky).
There is also the question of what to do with your valuables. Do I pack my $3,000 Nikon camera in the hold and risk it being crushed, dropped or even stolen?
I don’t think so.
I have seen the way the baggage handlers treat your suitcases here in Bermuda – it’s a competition to see who can throw your bag the furthest!
Of course isn’t security forgetting something? Even if you don’t take this stuff on the actual flight – some type of explosive can still be detonated if it’s in the hold of the plane? So by confiscating it from hand luggage, are they truly achieving anything?
Hell – why not ban luggage altogether – fly it on a separate aeroplane – to be collected, or dropped off at your hotel after you arrive. I guess these bloody terries will find some way of ingesting the crap.
If they are so intent on blowing themselves up – why don’t they just do it at home? Go home your ass-cowardly bastards – go blow up your own kind!
It’s no wonder everyone is looking at other religions and sneering – thanks to a handful of extreme assholes, the entire world is suspecting each and every Muslim of being some bomb-totting suicidal bomber.
To hell with it! I think we should all just laugh in the face of danger and say: “Do your best, you will not break my spirit. You can take my life, but you will NEVER take my freedom – never!”