You know you're in Bermuda when....

You know you are living in Bermuda:

When traveling more than 5 miles is considered too far.
When a sports car is not allowed to go faster than 35 mph, but does anyway.
When you call in "sick" because it's raining.
When your weekend starts at 3 kmp on a Friday and Happy Hour lasts four hours.
When "red hot" applies to how much you've had to drink and not the temperature outside.
When somebody "axe" you something and you understand what they're saying.
When you can't tell the age of half the girls on the street - even when they're in uniform.
When the price of fuel doesn't bug you as much as the price of make-up. Fuel being almost $8 a gallon.
When you know the names of several designers and own at least three of designer outfits.
When shoe-shopping becomes a sport.
When "eating out" means taking out a loan.
When you buy a new motorcycle every three years because it's cheaper than fixing your current one, or insuring it.
When you can buy a car for $3,000 and it costs $1,000 a year in license fees to keep it on the road.
When someone honks in greeting as you drive to work YET shouts to prevent an accident.
When you add dehumidifier to "must have" items.
When dust turns sticky if left for more than seven days.
When rats are the size of cats and cockroaches the size of school busses.